Random Twilight Giggleness
by GladeSistas
Summary: This is a random Twilight FanFic, can't say much more than that. Reviews wanted!
1. Chapter 1

**(Disclaimer: No matter how much this sends me into a deep and cheese filled depression, I do not own Twilight. Sobs in corner)**

**AN: The GladeSistas is an account shared by me and my sister, Emma. On our account you can get more details. I am a first timer, so if I copied anything please tell me in reviews and I will change that. Reviews are the flesh and blood of any story, so please keep the story living. . .it will also make me happy :D (Story by Kiera)**

RANDOM TWILIGHT GIGGLE-NESS!!

Chapter one: The Lion, The Vampire, and The Puppet

Bella: EEEEEEEEEEDDDDDWWAAAARRDD!!

Edward: Yes my extremly weak and sometimes whiney love?

Bella: I'm bored

Edward: What do you wish to do to cure such bored-ness?

Bella: I don-

Emmet: Runs into room NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BEEEELLLLLAAAA!! IDK!! YOU CAN'T SAY "I DONT KNOW" YOU HAVE TO SAY IDK!!

Bella and Edward: Silence as they watch Emmet run from the room

Rosalie: Passes Edward and Bella on the couch

Bella: Rosalie?

Rosalie: Yes pathetic human?

Bella: Edward are you going to do anything about that??

Edward: Watching a squirrel with a shiny peice of metal with intense facination What?

Bella: She called me a pathetic human!

Edward's mind (listening to Bella): I AM SOON TO BE YOUR WIFE!! YOU HAVE TO-BLAAH BLAH BLAH. . . .Ooooh a miror. . . .oohhhh!! I'm sexy!! Wow. . .maybe I'm too sexy. . .

Rosalie: Waits impaitently

Edward: I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT SOO SEXY IT HURTS!!

Rosalie and Bella: silence

Rosalie: Coughs quietly So. . .uhhh. . .thing, What were you going to ask me?

Bella: oblivious to "thing" comment Oh ya, why did Emmett stop me from saying "I dont know" and making me say idk?

Rosalie: Oh that, he was on the internet and these people kept saying things like idk and omg lol etc. After a while he got VERY into it, and he has been saying stuff like that ever since.

Bella: hmmm

Emmett: OMG! Carlisle called a family meeting, B-DOG included. Idk y, but I'm sure its going to be lol!! skips to front yard where meeting is taking place

Edward: Growls NO ONE CALLS MY BELLA B-DOG EXCEPT MY SOCK PUPPET!! Pulls out a sock with a bronze wig on a blood colored lips

Puppet: High squeaky voice Oooh!! there's my B-dog!! WOOF WOOF!! WOOF WOOF!!

Carlisle: People come on family meeting! Rose, Emmett, B-dog, Edward's sock puppet makes a high pitched growl sorry Bella, Edward. . .Edward's sock puppet.

Edward, B-dog, Emmett, Rose: Follow Carlisle out front

Jasper: Angry WHERE HAVE YOU ALL BEEN!! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR OVER 20 MINUTES!!

Alice: Puts hand on Jasper's shoulder Like Honey, like calm down and take like a chill pill

Jasper: Sobs I-im s-s-soorrrryyyy!! Bella? I put Jelly in the back of your car yesterday, I was just sooo an-gry!! sobs more sniffles I love you guys soooo much! Leans against house

Esme: Growls DONT GET A SCRATCH ON MY HOUSE!!

Jasper: wails like a two year old

Alice: like what was that for, you like hurt his feelings!!

Jasper: stops crying and looks at Alice lovingly Your always so nice to me, Im so lucky to have such a caring wife!! Hugs Alice tightly

Carlisle: Everyone please calm down!! Now we have a special guest here today, and I want you all to be on you BEST behavior

Jasper: Poker face on while stroking his chin with one eye-brow up

Aslan from the chronicles of Narnia walks out of the forest

Edward's sock puppet: YOOOOO!! A-CAT!! LONG TIME NO SEE!!

Bella: Passes out on ground

Edward: BELLA MY LOVE I WILL RESCUE YOU!! Sweeps Bella into his arms and runs away from the Cullen house make "Woosh" sounds

Aslan: I have come with grave news

Jasper: THOSE -- WE CAN TAKE 'EM DOWN!! I'LL MAKE THEIR LIVES A LIVING --!! I'LL TEAR THEIR LIMBS OFF AND ON THEM!!

Alice: I like agree

Aslan: You dont even know what it is. . .

Esme: Jasper!! I thought I taught you better than to judge a plan without knowing it first!!

Jasper: Bows down before Esme and starts kissing her feet YES ALL MIGHTY MASTER!! COMAND ME TO DO ANYTHING OF YOUR WISHES, AND I WILL OBEY LIKE THE FOREVER 18 **(AN: Did I get that right?)** YEAR OLD MAN I AM!!

Esme: Pleased Good, now pay attention to Aslan

Jasper: Pays attention

Carlislse: You must excuse Jasper, he can be a bit watches Jasper stare at Aslan with huge eyes . . .strange

Aslan: Right. Well I have come here today to tell you this . . .someone stole my catnip. . .and he OR she is in front of me right now . . .

Edward's sock puppet who, along with Edward is suddenly back: oh, oh, oh, I know who did it!! Pick me, I know!!

Carlise: yes?

Edward's sock puppet: It was Esme!! DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUH!!

All heads turn to Esme

Esme: Speechless

**To Be Continued. . . in Chapter 2: The Lion, The Vampire, and The Puppet part 2. . . WAIT!! THAT'S SOOO LAST CHAPTER! . . . . . .Chapter 2. . .The uuh, the uh uhhh. . . The girl, the catnip, and the homeless!!**

**Please give reviews and keep me sane!! Huddles in empty room with reviews My precious! Strokes reviews lovingly**

**Thanks for reading, **

**Kiera ;D**


	2. The Girl, The Catnip, and The Homeless

**(Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Twilight. SM does!)**

**AN: I already got two fabulous reviews! Thank you so much! **

**On our account we have a poll that is in need of serious votage! Please vote and review! **

**RANDOM TWILIGHT GIGGLE-NESS!!**

**Chapter 2: The Girl, The Catnip, and The Homeless**

_Previously on Random Twilight Giggleness. . .  
Aslan's Catnip is gone! Esme has been framed by Edward's sock puppet! Is Esme really the one who took the catnip?! Edward, along with his puppet returned without Bella! And how do the homeless come into this chapter?! I DON'T KNOW! SO READ AND FIND OUT!_

Esme: (Speechless)

Aslan: "Esme? Is that true?"

Esme: (Blubbers like a walrus)

Emmett: "Esme! Idk u knew how 2 speak Walrus! Where did u learn it?"

Carlisle: "Emmett? Sorry to interrupt. This is a little random, which I hardly am because I being a doctor and all, am hardly ever random. Because my intellectual status will not allow such -"

Rosalie: "Get on with it!"

Carlise: "Oh, yes. Has anyone seen Bella? Last I saw of her was when she fainted, and Edward took off with her. Well, Edward's here. Where's Bella?"

(Silence)

Edward's Sock Puppet: "B-Dog's GONE!? NOOOOO!"

Esme: (Glad that attention has been taken off her)

Jasper: (Suddenly pulls detective hat and magnifying glass out of no where)"Edward!? My #1 suspect! I bet he slaughtered her!"

Alice: "Yeah like he was like the one who like had her last!"

Edward: (Chewing on nails nervously)

Carlisle: "People, PEOPLE! Lets solve the catnip problem fist THEN we can look for Bella!"

Esme: (Smacks forehead)

Aslan: (Who has been watching birds fly across the sky hungrily) "Yes, about my catnip. Esme? Did you really take it?"

Esme: (Starts to buckle under pressure as everyone watches her) "Err. . .err. . .errr. . .YES!! YES I TOOK IT OK!!"

Alice: (Gasp) "Like Esme!!"

Esme: (Starts to sob) "I SAW THESE HOMELESS PEOPLE WHILE I WAS GOING TO BUY CUPCAKES FOR NO APPARENT REASON! THEY WERE SO HUNGRY, AND I HAD ALREADY GIVEN THE CUPCAKES TO BILLY AND JACOB. I FELT SO BAD FOR THE HOMELESS PEOPLE! SO WHEN I GOT HOME I SAW THE CATNIP I KNEW ASLAN WAS OVER, I MEAN WHY ELSE WOULD WE HAVE CATNIP, UNLESS BELLA WAS ADDICTED TO IT AGAIN! I WAS STILL FEELING HORRIBLE, SO I TOOK THE CATNIP, GAVE IT TO THE HOMELESS PEOPLE, ALONG WITH 100 FOR EACH OF THEM!!

Jasper who was suddenly in a police costume equiped with handcuffs and a gun: "We got 'er boys! Alright hands behind your back, you have the right to remain silent! Everything can and will be used against you in the court of law! I need backup NOW!"

(The swat team along with many helicopters arrived. Police came out of vans yelling, "HUT HUT HUT HUT!")

Alice: "Like honey it like wasn't a big deal, we'll just like get Aslan some more catnip"

Jasper: (With no emotion in his voice) "Your right. How foolish of me, alright boys your free to go"

(All of the police vanish with a loud "POP")

Edward: "Well, I'm going to go pick up Bella."

All of the Cullens: "WHERE IS SHE?!"

Edward: "Some where in Kentucky"

Rosalie: (snickers)

Emmett: Y the heck is she there?!

Edward: "I don-"

Emmett: "IDK!"

Edward: "Idk I was bored and I hear they have a TON of squirrels there!!"

Edward's puppet: "Lets go get her! I want my B-Dog back!"

Edward: "Ok" (Runs to Kentucky)"I'm back with Bella!"

(Bella's hair is really matted and messed up. She has a crazy look in her eyes)

Bella: (laughs the Joker laugh)

Esme: "I think she got a wee bit frazzled in Kentucky, lets not go there again"

**Remember to vote and review, it would make me so very happy!! On chapter uno we had a wee bit of a problem with how it was set up, hopefully it's better this time!**

**Love ya,**

**Kiera ;D**


	3. The Aquarium

**(Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. . .yet)**

**Sorry it took so long to update!**

**TWILIGHT RANDOM GIGGLENESS**

**CHAPTER 3!! The Aquarium**

Bella: "I have a suprise for you all!"

Alice: "Like why?"

Bella: "Angela thought that we all needed to take a little break and go on a trip!"

Rosalie: (Filing nails) "Who wants to go all the way out to a place, spend 15 minutes there than go all the way home? Not me."

Edward's sock puppet: "I do!! it's always been my dream to go on a trip!!"

Edward: (Hits puppet on head) "No! I have a kariokee session to go to at. . .5:30 today!!"

Esme: (Looks at time) "Dear, that's 5 and a half hours from now,"

Edward: "I know"

Jasper: (Whimpers impatianty) "I want to go!! I WANT TO GO RIGHT NNOOWW!!"

Carlisle: "Ok, even if we did go, Bella? Are you sure your puny human legs can stand it?"

Bella: "I don't know-"

Emmett: "GASP!"

Edward's puppet: (snaps) "Get over it!"

Bella: "I don't know! You're the doctor!"

Carlisle: "Well, my doctor like senses tell me that you will be perfectly A-OK!"

Esme: "Good. Now Bella, where are we going?"

Edward's puppet: "This trip better be worth it for what I'm paying!"

Rosalie: "Your not paying for anything!!"

Bella: "Let's just get going,"

Carlisle: "Ok then, everyone will take their own car. Edward, you and Bella lead."

(All head out to the cars, arrive at place half an hour later)

(Head to front desk)

Carlisle: "Hi, we have eight tickets." (Continues to talk to booth lady/dude) **(AN: You decide whether it's a girl or boy!)**

Emmett: (Looks at poster at the main entrance)

(Strange girl appears. She is wearing blue, yellow, and black. She had "I Love Dory!" buttons on every visible part of her shirt and hat. She also had a crazed look in her eyes that screamed, "I'M SELLING SOMETHING!!")

Girl: "HI! MY NAME'S EMMA!! I'M IN THE DORY FAN CLUB WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN!?"

Emmett: "Err. . ."

Carlisle: "Emmett? Are you coming?"

Emmett: "Well, uuh, I gtg"

Emma: "Oh! that' s ok, I was going inside anyways!!"

(All go into aquarium)

Alice: "There's like fish"

Jasper: (Presses face eagerly into glass, while eyes are moving back and forth)

Rosalie: (Goes to sit on a near by bench, when a fish comes to investigate her, she then hisses angrily at it)

Carlisle: "My incredible observation skills tell me that there are indeed marine animals in this room"

Esme: (Blubbers again) "This is amazing!"

Bella: "You've never been to a-"

Emma: "Hello ma'am!! I'm Emma!! I couldn't help but over hear you blubbering. Do you speak whale as well? I CAN!!" (Takes in a large amount of air before her face is covered by Emmett's hand)

Emmett: "NO!! NOT THE WHALE SOUNDS AGAIN! PLZ!! SHE HAS BEEN FOLLOWING ME EVERY WHERE!! SHE EVEN GOT JASPER 2 JOIN HER CLUB!!" (Points to Jasper who is bowing down to a Dory look alike fish)

Emma: (Gasps, and runs over to Dory look alike) "I SALUTE YOU!!" (Makes saluting gesture) "Come Jasper! We must recite the pledge!"

(In unision,) "I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food."

In Carlisle's head: "I wonder if she has mental issues. Maybe I could get her a phsychiatrist. . ."

In Esme's head: "Poor girl, she's deranged!"

In Kiera's head: "My sister's a dork"

In Edward's head: "Even I'm not that messed up. . ."

In Alice's head: "I should like so be shopping like right now"

(Suddenly, lights go out)

Jasper: "I CAN'T SEE!!"

Carlisle: "It's ok Jasper, don't do anything horribly rash!"

Jasper: (Giggle's like a young school girl) "Are you my concience?"

(Emma and Jasper giggle together)

(Lights go on again!)

Emmett: "Omg! We r saved!"

Emma: (Sings to Dory look a like) "Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming swimming!"

Rosalie: ( Scoffs)

Emma: (Runs up and gets in Rosalie's face) "Do you have a problem with Dory? Huh? Do ya? Do ya? DO YA?"

Rosalie: "Yes, I do. She's lame"

Jasper: (GASP!)

Alice: "Like gasp!"

Emma: (Pulls up Dory stool and stands on it so she can tower over Rosalie) "Dory is not lame! She is TEN times the fish you'll ever be!!" (Takes stool and stomps off)

Esme: (Looks at watch) "Is it 3 already? We should head back"

Jasper: "No! I must find out where the Dory meetings take place!!"

(Edward and Emmett drag Jasper to the cars)

Alice: "We should like do this again sometime!"

Jasper: "I WILL FIND THE MEETINGS EVENTUALLY!!"

(Back at the Cullen's house)

Carlisle: "Bella, you should head home"

Bella: "Ok, I'll call-"

Charlie: (Pops out of thin air) "WE MUST BE A-GOIN WEE LASSY!!" (Pops again with Bella)

Alice: "I'm like going to the mall, like now"

**(Thank you for reading! Emma, is an example for a new idea! If you would like to be in the story, on the reviews put the name you would like to use (Does not have to be your real name) and something extremely strange about yourself! I will TRY to put you in! My props to Finding Nemo!!)**

**Just Keep Swimming!**

**Kiera ;D**


	4. No no chappie :

**No no chappie. . .**

**Hey guys! It' s an authors note sorry. Sorry for not updating. . .I'm lazy. I've been having a bit of conflict lately. I don't know whether to put up a new chapter before starting a new story (It' s going to be a serious one can you believe it?!)**

**Readers: "O. My. God. No way. . "  
Kiera: "YES WAY!!"**

**On our profile there is a poll about the story issue (IT'S TISSUE BUT WITHOUT THE "T"!!), PLEASE vote so I may write again!! Also I'm having a bit of trouble on what to write about. . .Any suggestions? You will find what I have actually heard about on our pofile as well. . .it would be kinda weird to all of a sudden get a demand to write about somethin youv'e never heard of right?**

**Thank you to amenokyoku for being my faithful reader, and thank you to tin-tin456 and kris for reviewing and reading as well**

**Your somewhat stupid writer,**

**Kiera ;D**


	5. The Wonderful World of Karaoke

RANDOM TWILIGHT GIGGLE-NESS!!!

Chapter five: The Wonderful World of Karaoke

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the quotes and songs that will be coming up soon

AN: I apologize greatly to those who are foolish enough to enter the world of Twilight Giggle-ness and enjoyed it. I have been very busy with many things and have not had the time to do it. These next two chappies are dedicated to two readers who want to be in the story, you have to thank Emma for this chapter, she got me to do it. Actually she usually inspires me with how weird she is. It's sort of scary sometimes, like right now for instance.  
Here it is! Enjoy it while you can!

Carlisle: (Puts down newspaper) "Well looks like our friend from the aquarium has been put into an asylum. It says here that she was a breakout and going around encouraging random people to go to fake Dory meetings. Of course Jasper got involved with her. (Looks over to Jasper with concern who was wringing his hands nervously murmering, "Their coming after me, I will have to hide and take Alice with me. Though she won't survive without a mall. . . I know I'll build her one")

Edward: "Well, I'm off to my karaoke session I told you about yesterday,"

Edward's puppet: "Yeah! We're going to meet B-Dog and Emmett there too!"

Alice: "Like Oh, my god! I like have to go! Like Jasper go fetch me an outfit for it now!"

Jasper: "I DON'T WANNA!"

Esme: "Maybe it's best you didn't go to this one Alice, I'm awfully worried about Jasper today, he is worse than usual."

Alice: "Like fine,"

(At the Karaoke place)

Edward's Puppet: "What songs are you going to sing Edward?"

Edward: "I don't know my beloved puppet, I was thinking Barbie Girl or Small World"  
(hears gasp) "Did you hear that puppet?"

Amenokyoku: (Comes out of dark corner, clutching a Twilight book and hypervenalating) "OH. MY. GOD!! ITS EDWARD!! WHERE'S BELLA? DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MOVIE? I HOPE NOT! I DONT LIKE IT!"

Edward's Puppet: "Who is this? Do you know her?"

Edward: "I don't know Puppet. Let's go, it might be another asylum breakout." (Walks into karaoke place)

Bella: "Who was that we heard outside?"

Emmett: "I have a bad feeling about this" (AN: The whole idk thing is getting old, so as of now Emmett will be quoting movies. A list of the movies quoted will be at the end of the chapter)

Edward's Puppet: "It was some weird person holding a book and talking about some movie!"

Emmett: "Here we go again."

Bella: (Gives Emmett the look) "Maybe we should go home, I don't want something to happen again-" (Amenokyoku burts through the door)

Amenokyoku: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Oh my, you dont't look anything like I thought you would! Ahhh!! It's Emmett!! (Runs over to Emmet who is wincing back in fear) "Your hair is much longer! YOU SMELL LIKE PINAPPLES!!"

Bella: "Lets just sing some songs and go home. . .I'm scared" (Looks over at Amenyoku who is dancing around a fire circle with a Twilight movie banner burning in it)

(AN: amenokyoku, if you find this offensive please tell me and I will fix it. And for anyone who wants to be in this, I am going to warn you. You will be a complete and total weirdo. That will be all)

(First on the stage is Edward, then Edward's puppet, then Bella, then Emmett)

Edward: (Walks up on stage) "Ok this is going to be dedicated to-"

Amenokyoku: "Oh! Oh! Me! Me!"

Edward: "Uhh. . .Ok um this is dedicated to-"

Amenokyoku: "MEEEEEEE!! MEMEMEMEMEMEEE!!!"

Edward's Puppet: "Oh just dedicate to the girl already!!"

Edward: "This is dedicated to. . .What's your name?"

Amenokyoku: (Bats eyelashes) "Oh, you can call me Ameno"

Bella: (Growls)

Amenokyoku: (Flashes Bella a wide grin)

Edward's Puppet: "Cat fight! Cat fight!"

Edward: "Ok ok! Ladies please! No fighting over the Edster! This song is dedicated to Ameno and Bella."

(Edward starts singing. . .BARBIE GIRL!)

_- Hi Barbie!  
- Hi Ken!  
- You wanna go for a ride?  
- Sure, Ken!  
- Jump in!  
- Ha ha ha ha!_

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie  
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again  
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party

You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours  
You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

- Oh, I'm having so much fun!  
- Well, Barbie, we're just getting started!  
- Oh, I love you Ken!

Bella: "He has such a lovely voice!"

Edward's Puupet: (Sways along to the music)

(Song over)

Amenokyoku: "YA! ENCORE! ENCORE!!"

(Bella gets on the stage)

Bella: (Starts singing matierial girl!)

_Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me  
I think theyre o.k.  
If they dont give me proper credit  
I just walk away_

They can beg and they can plead  
But they cant see the light, thats right  
cause the boy with the cold hard cash  
Is always mister right, cause we are

Chorus:

Living in a material world  
And I am a material girl  
You know that we are living in a material world  
And I am a material girl

Some boys romance, some boys slow dance  
Thats all right with me  
If they cant raise my interest then i  
Have to let them be

Some boys try and some boys lie but  
I dont let them play  
Only boys who save their pennies  
Make my rainy day, cause they are

(chorus)

Living in a material world [material]  
Living in a material world  
(repeat)

Boys may come and boys may go  
And thats all right you see  
Experience has made me rich  
And now theyre after me, cause everybodys

(chorus)

A material, a material, a material, a material world

Living in a material world [material]  
Living in a material world  
(repeat and fade)

Edward: (Does jazz hands)

Amenokyoku: (Is confused with how opposite it is)

Emmet: "What a strange person!"

(Song over)

Amenokyoku: "OH NO! EMMETT I FORGOT YOUR FULL NAME!! QUICK TELL ME!!"

Emmett: (Walks onto stage) "I dont't care about my name!"

Emmett: (Sings Playing with the Big Boys Now)

_By the power of Ra...  
Mut...Nut...Khnum...Ptah...  
Nephthys...Nekhbet...Sobek...Sekhment...  
Sokar...Selket...Reshpu...Wadjet...  
Anubis...Anukis...  
Seshmu...Meshkent...Hemsut...Tefnut...  
Heket...Mafdet...  
Ra...Mut...Nut...Ptah...  
Hemsut...Tefnut...Sokar...Selket...  
Seshmu...Reshpu...Sobek...Wadjet...  
Heket...Mafdet...Nephthys...Nekhbet...Ra..._

So you think you've got friends in high places  
With the power to put us on the run  
Well, forgive us these smiles on our faces  
You'll know what power is when we are done  
Son...

You're playing with the big boys now  
Playing with the big boys now  
Ev'ry spell and gesture  
Tells you who's the best, you're  
Playing with the big boys now

You're playing with the big boys now  
You're playing with the big boys now  
Stop this foolish mission  
Watch a true magician  
Give an exhibition how  
Pick up your silly twig, boy  
You're playing with the big boys now!

[Egyptian Priests]  
By the power of Ra  
Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah  
Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket  
Anumbis, Anukis  
Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet...

[Hotep and Huy]  
You're playing with the big boys now  
You're playing with the big boys now  
By the might of Horus  
You will kneel before us  
Kneel to our splendorous power...  
You put up a front  
You put up a fight  
And just to show we feel no spite  
You can be our acolyte  
But first, boy, it's time to bow  
(Kowtow!)  
Or it's your own grave you'll dig, boy  
You're playing with the big boys now  
Playing with the big boys  
Now!

Edward's Puppet: "Come on every one lets do the wave!"

(Everyone does wave)

(Song over)

Bella: "I want to go home"

Edward's Puppet: "Stop whining!"

Edward: (Ashamed) "Puppet! We can go home now Bella"

(All leave)

(When all in car)

Bella: "Do you feel like someones watching us."

Edward and Emmett: "Not really"

Little did they know that Amenokyoku was hiding in the trunk in hope of meeting the rest of the Cullen's. . .

AN: HAHAHAHAHAAA!! FINALLY I HAVE FINISHED THE CHAPTER!! Ok! amenokyoku I asumed you were a girl, sorry if I'm wrong. Thanks for reading and sorry for the long wait!

Quotes:

Batman Begins: "I don't care about my name!",

Star Wars: "I have a bad feeling about this",

The Mummy: "Here we go again",

Prince of Eygpt: "the song Playing with the Big Boys Now",

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: "What a strange person!"

Kiera ;D


	6. Chapter 6

**Random Twilight Giggleness Chapter 6: Pirates of the town called Forks.**

**HEY YALL!! Sorry I haven't been able to update, things got in the way and. . . well let's just face the facts. . .it was all my falt, I am a complete moron, and I suck very hard for waiting until APRIL to update this "story thing" when now three of you are waiting. . . I am ashamed. . .**

**I AM OFFICIALY CLOSING THE WHOLE "BE IN THE STORY" THING AS OF. . . . NOW!!! So now, after this chapter I have two people waiting and then. . . THE FINALY!!! WOOOOT!!! ^^ I might make a sequal. . .maybe**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!! Nothing at all. . . Nothing. . .Just in case you didn't catch that. . .nothing :D**

**This chapter is dedicated to .Life**

_Previously:_

_Bella: "Do you feel like someones watching us."_

_Edward and Emmett: "Not really"_

_Little did they know that Amenokyoku was hiding in the trunk in hope of meeting the rest of the Cullen's. . ._

(Still in car)

Edward's Puppet: "I WANT MUSIC!! WE JUST LEFT A KARAOKE PLACE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!"

Bella: "HA!! Now it's your turn to stop whining!!"

Edward: "Now now Bella, we all know that you are still a little sour that I didn't dedicate my song fully to you."

Edward's Puppet: "What music does everyone want? We have either the Dark Knight soundtrack, or something else. . ."

Emmett: "Go ahead, make your choice!"

Bella: (Starts sobbing out of no where)

Edward: "Dearest Bella what's wro-oh"

Bella: "WHAT EDWARD?! SO WHAT, IT'S A CERTAIN TIME OF MONTH!"

Edward's Puppet: (Snickers)

Edward: "This is not a funny matter!"

(At the Cullen house)

Edward: "PUDDING"  
Jasper: *Pops out of the house* "Pudding? I like puddding! Where is it?! Tell me, tell me tell me!!!"

Edward's Puppet: "It's in the trunk!!"

Jasper: *Runs toward trunk* "OKIE DOKIE!! *tries to lift trunk open* "WHY WON'T IT OPEN?! OH MY GOD! IT'S THE ALIIIIIIEENNNNNSSS!!! THEY ARE COMING FOR US!! HA CARLISLE I TOLD YOU SO BUT NOOOOOOO YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN TO MEEEEEE!!! YOU JUST SAID THAT I WAS IN SOME SORT OF PHYCHIATRICAL STATE AND THAT I WOULD GET OVER IT!!!" *sprints around in little circles*

Emmett: *Unlocks trunk with keys* "The steel beast is dead, peasants, I have set you all free!" *Notices Amenokyoku in the trunk*

Bella: "Ahhhhhhh! You have come to take Edward away from me!!" *Snatches Edward's arm*

Edward's Puppet: "Calm down B-Dog!! I am attached to that arm!"

Edward: *Grins*

Edward's thoughts: "Girls are fighting over me. . . cool"

Amenokyoku: "AAAAAHHHH!! I. . .AM. . .AT. . .THE. . .CULLEN'S. . .HOUSE!!!!! GASP!! I MUST BRING SOUVENIERS!!! *Runs franticly toward the Cullen's house, while picking up random rocks around their cars*

Jasper: *Spreads arms out widely* "POOF!"

*Amenokyoku disappears*

Edward: "HEY WHERE DID SHE GO!? NOW THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER GIRL TO FIGHT OVER ME!!"

Jasper: *Mysteriously* "Oh, I sent her to a magical place of wonders!"

*Amenokyoku shows up in some place that is all chocolate! There is chocolate fountins, and chocolate cups, and chocolate EVERYTHING!!* (AN: Hope you like chocolate!)

Bella: "OOOOOOOHHH ME NEXT ME NEXT!!!!"

Alice: *Comes out of Cullen house* "NOOOOOOOO BELLAAAAAA!! DON'T GO INTO THE CHOCOLATELY LIGHT!!!! IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU!!! I ALSO NEED YOU HERE SO I CAN DO THINGS THAT I NORMALY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO CUZ I'M A VAMPIRE!!!"

Salome: *Rows by in a row boat when there is no water* "Yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirates life for me!"

Edward's thoughts: "Yes! Another girl to fight with Bella over me!"

Edward's Puppet: "Who are you?!"

Salome: *Jumps heroicly out of the boat* "AHOY MATEY! I am Salome the pirate!"

Jasper: *Mumbles to himself about aliens*

Bella: *Starts sobbing again* "BU-BUT, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A PIRATE!! ARE YOU. . .ARE YOU LYING TO MEEE?!"

Salome: *Looks down at attire* "Oh yeah!" *Hides behind tree, then shows up again in a full pirates outfit, including boots, a hat, and a sword*

Jasper: *Stares at Salome in awe, a large stupid grin on his face*

Emmett: *Points at Salome suddenly* "WHERE IS STAR?!"

Rosalie: *Leans out window* "WHO IS THIS "STAR" PERSON!?"

Jasper: "IS IT A DOGGY?!"

Edward's Puppet: "CONFLICT!!"

Jasper: *Starts sobbing with Bella who still has not stopped*

Edward's Puppet: *Slaps Jasper across the face* "KEEP IT TOGETHER MAN!"

Alice: "THAT WASN'T NICE!"

Salome: *Pulls out sword* "I HAVE A LONG POINTY THAT COULD EASILY POKE ALL OF YOU!!"

Edward's Puppet: "OHMYGOSHSOMEONEDOSOMETHING!! I'MONLYMADEOFCLOTH!! ICOULDBEKILLEDWITHASINGLEBLOW!!!!!" (OH MY GOSH SOMEONE DO SOMETHING! I'M ONLY MADE OF CLOTH! I COULD BE KILLED WITH A SINGLE BLOW!)

(Large arguement starts)

Emmett: *Attention is caught by gleaming sword by a tree* *Goes over to it* "AT LAST!!. . .MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN!"

Salome: *Points sword at Emmett* "I AM A PIRATE!!. . . .ARRGGG. . . .JOIN ME IN A BATTLE OF SWORDS!!!!"

Emmett: *Nods*

*Sword battle between Emmett and Salome, all stop to watch*

Jasper's Thoughts: "OHHH! Those thingys are SHINY!"

Edward's Thoughts: "GO GO GO GO GO!"

Bella's Thoughts: "Why do random people keep showing up? And how come they are all girls? Does this mean I am going to have competion? Think about it Bella, you aren't athletic, Salome could easily poke you with her long pointy. . ."

Alice's Thoughts: "When am I getting paid?"

Salome: "HAHAAA! I HAVE WON!" *Pokes Emmett with sword*

Emmett: ". . .hey. . ."

Salome: *Places hands victoriously on hips, and smiles widely*

Jasper: "OOHHHH I WANNA PHOTO!!" *Grabs camera out of Bella's ear*

Bella: *Attemps to get thing out of her ear by hitting her head repeatedly with a stick*

Jasper: *Stands by Salome and poses for a picture with her* "OHHHHHHH THAT ONES A KEEPER!!"

Salome: "ARRRGGG, MATEY! DO YOU HAVE A PARROT?"

Jasper: "Yes"

Edward's Puppet: "Where did ya'll get a parort?!"

Jasper: *Eyes enlarge as he gives the puppet a mysterious look* "THEY gave it to me. . . "

Alice: *Hanging upside down in the middle of the air, arms above her head* "Darlin', who is they?"

Jasper: "The commitey of parrots"

Salome: "Ah yes, I have been to a couple of their meetings. . . they never have good donuts. . . "

Jasper: "I KNOW!! LET US REBEL!"

Emmett: "Let's hunt some orc"

Bella: *Growls* "THEY ARE LOOKING FOR DONUTS!!!!! NOT ORC. . . HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOO??!!"

Carlisle: *Pops out of nowhere* "It's true" *Pops away again*

Bella: *Points at Emmett* "HA!"

Salome: "WELL THEN MATEYS, ALL HANDS ON DECK!!! I WANT ME SOME DONUTS!!!!!"

Jasper: *Salutes seriously* "Aye Cap'n Salome!"

*Large ship comes out of nowhere*

Salome: "EDWARD!!! MAN THE SPARROW'S NEST!! WE BE LOOKIN FOR A DECENT DONUT SHOP!"

Edward's Puppet: "Yes Cap'n!"

Edward: *Salutes*

Bella: *Jaw drops*

Bella's thoughts: "Oh sure! Listen to her!"

Salome: *Grins* "NOW, FRONT AND CENTER, ALL OF YOU!"

*Bella, Edward, Edward's Puppet, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice all go onboard the ship and stand in a line, while Jasper is smiling stupidly and saluting*

Salome: "IT HAS BEEN MANY A YEAR SINCE A GOOD DONUT SHOP WAS FOUND. . ." *Paces, then stops and giggles* "It is our duty to find such a donut place!"

Alice: "I LIKE DONUTS!"

Salome: "GOOOD!! BECAUSE WE NEED TO ALL HAVE A LOVE FOR DONUTS TO ACCOMPLISH THIS MISSION!!"

Edward's Puppet: "WHAT IS OUR FIRST DESTINATION!?"

Salome: "WE BE HEADIN TO CALIFORNIA. . . arrrrggg. . . . . "

Jasper: "YOU 'EARD 'ER! GET TO IT!"

*All start off toward California*

Jasper: "YO-HO-YO-HO A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME!"

*All arive in California"

Alice: "Wow, that was fast!"

Salome: "TIME PASSES QUICKLY WHEN YE ARE A PIRATE!"

*Leave the ship*

Salome: "Now-let's split in groups to find-"

Edward: "I FOUND ONE CAP'N!" *Points to a Donuts-R-Us*

*Go inside*

Bella: "DONUTS!!!!"

Salome: *Sits down at a chair* "Its perfect, waiter! I WANNA DONUT!"

Waiter: *Brings donut, then mumbles* "They are comin for me. . . all of them. . ."

Jasper: *Eyes widen and gets an odd expression as he stares at the waiter*

*All taste donut*

Alice: "THESE WOULD BE SO GOOD IF THEY DIDN'T TASTE LIKE DIRT!!"

Bella: "I WANNA LIVE HERE!!"

Salome: "Sorry, but I'll be doin that lassy"

Bella: "Wha. . . "

Salome: "IM LIVIN HERE! THIS PLACE MUST BE KEPT UNDER MY WATCH!! YE HAVE ALL BEEN A MIGHTY CREW, I SAY FAREWELL. . . . for now. . . . . . . . . . arrrrg. . . . "

Jasper: *Sniffles* "WHENEVER I JOIN A GROUP THEY ALL LEEAAAAAAAAVEEEEE!!!"

Salome: *Sniffles too* "Its ok, poof them back! I WILL SEE THE LATER!!" *Waves*

Jasper: *Sobbing* "AH-AH-POOF-AH-AH!"

*All poof back to the Cullen house*

Jasper: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" *falls on the ground* "I WANNA ANOTHER DONUT"

Edward's Puppet: *Looks down* "HOW COME EVERY MINUTE OF OUR LIVES IS FILLED WITH. . . . I don't know!!"

Carlisle: *Pops out of nowhere again* "It's ok, sometime in the future. . . I sense. . . destruction. . . ."

Emmett: *Squints and suddenly turns to Jasper (who has gotten up) pointing a gun* "FREEZE!"

Jasper: *Throws up hands and goes thhhhhhhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb with his toungue*

Bella: "That was weird. .. ."

----

**AHALSHDFLKHJSKFDJ This chappie was loooonnnggg**

**Quotes:**

**Go ahead, make your choice: Disney's The Little Mermaid**

**The steel beast is dead, peasants, I have set you all free!: Disney's Enchanted**

**WHERE IS STAR?!: Lost Boys**

**AT LAST!. . . . . .MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN!: Sweeney Todd**

**Let's hunt some orc: Lord of the Rings**

**Freeze!!: Kuff's (Jasper and the thhbbb thing was part of it too)**


End file.
